Bau Semangat Anak Muda & Seyogia

Memandangkan cuti sebulan lebih, takkan nak duduk goyang kaki buang masa macam tu je kan? So gua pun order buku dari Lejen Press. Lejen Press ni best sebab buku-buku dia ni bukan jenis Jiwa Lara, Ombak Nafsu, Dingin Sembilu, Hatiku Ditusuk Cintamu ke apa semua tu. Buku-buku dia sangat sempoi. Barulah gua punya secawan teh (read : my cup of tea). Macam Hlovate.

Gua start dengan Seyogia. Gua beli sebab orang kata best, dan sedih. Dan sebab gua nak tau seyogia tu menatang apa, tapi tak ada pulak dia tulis maksud seyogia dalam buku tu. So gua google.

"Di dalam Kamus Dewan Ke-4 menyatakan bahawa yogia bermaksud berpatutan, padan, layak;
jadi seyogia bermaksud sepatutnya, selayaknya, semestinya" (CikguBM, 2012)

Menitis air mata bila sampai part yang akhir-akhir tu. Serious sedih and cerita dia bukan macam typical malay story yang lain. Cerita berunsurkan kekeluargaan, hubungan adik beradik dan ada la terselit seciput cintan cintun tapi bukan yang mushy so seronok je baca. Watak utama is Jard/Jazreen. Hubungan dia dengan  satu-satunya abang dia betul-betul buat gua jeles. Betapa penyayangnya, betapa protective tapi tak mengongkong, betapa bertanggungjawab. Ada unsur Islamik jugak bila Jard ni jumpa dengan seorang perempuan masa dia lari dari rumah. Kalau dalam cerita Twilight Breaking Dawn, ada part lawan-lawan yang kita beria dah fuuuyoooohhh-fuyohhhhh-tengok-tu-kepala-dia-tercabut tapi rupa-rupanya tu semua vision. Dalam Seyogia pun ada. Punya baik dia saji kita dengan keindahan lepastu rupa-rupanya jeng jeng jeng pergi baca sendiri.

Gua taktau kenapa, tapi kalau ada penulis tu masukkan lagu dalam buku dia, tak payah fikir masak-masak gua instantly suka. Lepastu lagu pulak yang best-best. Terus naik satu anak tangga. Sebab kalau taste music gua dengan dia sama, confirm cerita yang dia tulis pun taste gua. 

Sama lah macam Bau Semangat Anak Muda ni. Sejujurnya gua rasa boring masa muka surat awal tapi the story gets better every time you turn to the next page. Serious tak tipu. Because you can't predict what's going to happen next. Dengar tajuk pun kita dah tau mesti pasal dakdak muda. Yang baru nak kenal music. Baru nak kenal Nirvana. Up sikit, try belajar main gitar. Hipster sikit, pergi gig. Last stage is buat band sendiri and perform dekat gig.

Nak gua buat sinopsis setiap bab, watak dan perwatakan, plot dan sebagainya, mintak maap la ye. Dalam kelas Bahasa Melayu masa Cikgu Ujang bincang komsas gua tidur.

Nah ni penulis dia sendiri yang tulis - Teh Tarik Gelas Besar

bui.

Final countdown

Alhamdulillah.

Waking up this morning, to a text message saying that I am offered a place in UniKL RCMP, Yayy me !

Semalam dah pergi tengok rumah sewa dekat Ipoh Garden. Serious besar! Sewa MYR 900 sebulan, duduk 8 orang. 5 bilik, 3 toilet, 2 dapur, porch depan boleh parking 6 kereta kancil atau 4 crv atau 3 limousine. Kot.

Dah settlekan perabot untuk bilik -- katil, tilam, almari, meja belajar.

Cuak jugak sebenarnya mana tahu kot tak ada rezeki. Yelah, result kita biasa-biasa je. Mak kita pun takut-takut. Siap fikir jauh, taknak bukak plastik tilam. Kot tak dapat, takdela kotor tilam letak dalam lori nak bawak balik ke tepeng nanti. Sampai macamtu......

Tapi Alhamdulillah, yang ditakutkan tak jadi kenyataan :)

Sepatutnya ke kl esok, reunion batch '11 stf dan jumpa naim tapi terpaksa batalkan hasrat because of that bloody perhimpunan.

Tak apelah. Moga nanti baik-baik aja untuk kita, ya sayang.

Make everything ok

Somebody tweeted a link -- stumbleupon.com and of course like a curious cat, i clicked it. I like it. So much. That i'm addicted to it.

So what is stumble upon?

It's a site that helps you discover new and interesting stuffs on the web. Like any other websites, you have to sign up first. Then, you'll have to choose your interest so that they can show you webpages, videos, photos and more that you'll like (based on your interest) that you wouldn't have found on your own !

"Every Stumble is an adventure, and something amazing is always just a click away." ;)

Best untuk orang yang suka berangan ke laut ke langit ke tanah dan semua arah.

Ok back to the bitter reality, the results are out. I am feeling a little deflated but to think of it again, i deserved it anyway. I got B for both subjects that I didn't sleep the night before, cracking my head trying to make sure that i can walk into and out the hall feeling so confident that it'll be easy peasy lemon squeezy and i'll do just fine. Oh well, the most important thing is my pointer is above 3.5 which means i'm safe. I hope. 

Short Getaway - Thailand (2013)

to Krabi, Phuket & Hat Yai.

More pictures at instagram : @_xax

My personal favourite - Phuket. Sebaaaaab macam meriah and no, i'm not referring to the clubs yang sangat open kiri kanan ada pole dancer jalan sana sini ada promoter tiger show ping pong show, tak ok. Dia macam a small town that never sleeps gittew. Sebab tu dekat sana semua kedai pukul 10 pagi baru bukak. Seronok shopping tapi kena pandai tawar unless kau keturunan diraja tak kisah beli selipar angry bird for 450 baht (MYR 45) sebab kau lupa bawak selipar sendiri.

Trip to the islands (phi phi island and james bond island) was..... okay but Tioman Island and other islands in Malaysia are more beautiful and have prettier corals. Sayang malaysia :') patriotik tetiba.

Thailand ni panas, kot nak menyejukkan badan dengan harapan kulit sunburn putih kembali boleh pergi Ice Dome, Hat Yai for 300 baht per person. Sama je macam snowalk i-city, shah alam walaupun den tak ponah poie tapi dengar-dengar cerita lebih kurang sama lah. Ice dome punya ice sculptures berubah-rubah setiap masa tapi tempoh dari satu theme ke satu theme tu den taktau (i-city pun ke?). Kita punya la sejuk mulut pun dah senget pastu tetiba nampak sorang amoi dengan hot pants watleks je pose sana pose sini. Confirm ada bela tu.

Pastu pastu kalau rasa nak naik gajah pergi la Chang Puak Camp, Hat Yai (500 baht per person). Insan terpilih je dapat tengok gajah berak depan mata cenggini.

Banyak lagi tempat tapi tak ingat. Yang paling penting kena ada tour guide atau member orang thailand sebab diorang memang tak faham melayu, english lagi la. Even receptionist hotel pun tak boleh nak communicate in english sangat. 

Sedih. Tak beli souvenir apa pun sebab semua org ingat dekat Hat Yai ada jual jugak, tapi tak. Kalau boleh nak pergi balik Phuket and borong semua barang yang berkenan. Hmm :/ 

sawadee.

med student depression

Let’s be honest—med school is hard. I remember sitting in a lecture in second year, watching all the other students around me, and they were in perfect control of med school. They sat through lectures without falling asleep and without panicking about exams in two months and without being afraid of being judged, they took notes studiously and went home to their friends and family and lovers and siblings and maintained healthy relationships and seemingly flawless grades. It felt like I was the only one in a hall of hundreds of students that didn’t know how to make it through med school.

The Moments That Matter

I saw a little band named fun. on Friday night.
And between the shuffling to try and get a good vantage point (I’m really short, okay?), one thought kept popping into my head: I wish I’d paid more attention to the moments that didn’t matter. 

I get caught up in med school. I do the unforgivable, I place my self-worth and self-belief in the feedback I receive until it’s late at night and I’m alone with my thoughts that tell me it’s not worth it, nothing’s worth it. My life becomes a series of achievements which I’ve failed to meet: didn’t clerk enough patients, didn’t do enough research, didn’t impress the doctors enough, didn’t know enough. 

So, being the ever-composed medical student that I am, I started crying during the encore.
We fight and fight for med school. Our entire lives revolve around being a doctor. Getting the marks to pass, to get an internship, to get into specialty training, to pass our exams: when does it stop? In the grand scheme of all things med school, these moments matter. But are they more important than the moments that don’t matter, the moments that pass us by?
No. 

I look back on this year so far and I see loss. I see three overdoses, two psychiatrists, a psychologist. I see disordered eating, I see hiding in tutorial rooms, too afraid to deal with people. I see a failed assignment, questions I couldn’t answer, laying in bed with my heart racing out of time, scared of waking up in the morning and going back to the hospital.
But then there are nights spent at concerts, driving around the city at three am looking for food, falling asleep on a friend’s floor. Days spent dancing with hand puppets and baking scones.
Moments which don’t matter to med school. Late-night Facebook chats won’t get you a career. 

But these moments will help us survive med school.

-- Taken from mylifeasamedstudent.tumblr.com

It has been 17 days since I finished foundation and to be honest, I am not sure if I can make it to med school.

Bincang siapa roommate dengan siapa dekat Ipoh nanti, tak apelah aku ambil bilik belakang duduk sorang. Kalau tak dapat masuk tak adalah susah nak cari rommate lain and bilik tu boleh jadikan study room or maybe stor. 

Bincang siapa nak bawa periuk pinggan mangkuk kuali segala, senyap. Takut nak berjanji. Kalau tak dapat nanti menyusahkan semua orang pulak last minute nak bahagi-bahagikan. 

Bila tengok some of us have already bought the medical text books, downloaded the lecture notes (and even studied!), and I? I'm not even sure i'll receive the offer letter.

Oh well. Just pray for the best.